Feature Article - April 2015
by Do-While Jones

College Text Righter

This year’s song honoring National Theory of Evolution Day (April 1) addresses the need to correct college biology textbooks. It should be sung to the tune “Paperback Writer” by the Beatles.

Most of our newsletters are serious reviews of the technical literature. But, in honor of National Theory of Evolution Day (April 1), we like to lighten things up with a little bit of foolishness about an author who wants to correct college textbooks, and make them right.

College Text Righter

Click this link to hear Death Valley Dave perform this song if it does not play automatically..

College Text Righter.

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It disproves a theory that Charles Darwin had.
Students need to know, so I want to be a
College Text Righter, College Text Righter.

It debunks the story of descent of man
From an unknown ape we don’t understand.
Darwin’s theory is a silly tale
That must be destroyed, so I’ve got to be a
College Text Righter, College Text Righter.

College Text Righter.

It's a thousand pages, give or take a few,
Proving life didn’t start in a pool of goo.
It disproves his theory in convincing style,
‘Cause my logic’s sound, and I want to be a
College Text Righter, College Text Righter.

There’s no question. Darwin wasn’t right.
So, I’m not going to give up without a fight.
If you must return it you can send it here
But I need a grant and I want to be a
College Text Righter, College Text Righter.

College Text Righter.

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